Musings on a rainy day

On the two occasions that I’ve been kissed, my kissing partner has jumped straight to shoving his tongue down my throat.

As someone who hasn’t had much experience in the relationship department, I was under the impression this isn’t the norm.  Maybe I’m wrong – I mean, with the two kisses in my life both being frenching, the evidence is against me.

It’s just that, what happened to privacy?  I mean, I would like to get to know you, not your tongue, before said tongue is shoved into my mouth.  Like really.  Can we chat about what kind of ice cream you like?  What your spirit animal is?  If you think that Jack White is overrated, because I definitely do?  If Coldplay puts you to sleep or if you believe they’re the greatest band, like, ever?  How about we hold hands first, go out and eat dinner together.  Maybe then we can get to the tonguing.  But until then, your tongue is not welcome in anyone’s mouth other than your own.

Maybe that makes me innocent.  Maybe I put off the vibe that I’m into french kissing.  If that’s the case, I apologize.  I sincerely do.  I’ve been alive for 24 years, and in that span of time I’ve come to know the difference between a sincere and insincere apology.  How many times have we all thrown a casual sorry to someone, knowing in the back of our minds that we don’t feel sorry at all?  It’s the same with the words love and like.  People throw them around so much that it’s hard to tell if someone is being truthful or not.  I don’t want that.

It comes down to this: if I’m truly sorry, I’ll say so.  But I’m not going to apologize for something I don’t feel I was wrong about.  I won’t apologize for my opinions, nor will I apologize for my actions just because someone else feels they were wrong.  I will, however, try to understand your opinions and accept that you have a right to your opinion and I have a right to mine.  And that’s all that we can do really, is try to understand, slash appreciate someone else’s opinion.  It’s not a matter of right or wrong, it’s a matter of opinion and being open minded.  If more people would try to understand an opponent’s opinion rather than jumping straight into a right and wrong argument, or have a  discussion rather than an argument (because there are differences between the two words), the world would be in a much better place.

But that’s just me.  And I’ve gotten sidetracked.  Or maybe I haven’t.  The way my mind works, I am not surprised I went from talking about tongues being shoved down my throat to accepting varying opinions.

But back to the subject of french kissing – maybe it stems from the fact that I’m just not into hooking up with someone from the get go.  Maybe I come across as having more experience in the dating field than I really do – and on a different note, when people realize that I haven’t dated anyone much less had sex before, they all of a sudden think of me as someone who doesn’t know anything relating to the subject.

I mean, c’mon people.  I watch TV, I read.  I know what happens, I’m a reasonably educated, smart individual.  They also get all strange around me.  What the hell?  If you’ve ever been around me when I’m with my guy friends – or even friends in general – you would know that I’m a fairly crude individual.  And I don’t judge!  Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean that I judge you for having sex, or engaging in whatever the fuck.  Let me spell it out for you: I DON’T CARE.  Just because you’ve done things I haven’t doesn’t change the fact that I’m your friend and I like you.  So you’ve done shit?  Who hasn’t (other than me)?  And you should give me the same courtesy.  Just because I haven’t done something that you’ve done shouldn’t change the fact that we’re friends and you, hopefully, like me.

I would hate to live in a world where everyone has the same opinion, everyone does the same thing, and there’s nothing different.  If all of my friends believed the same things, liked the same things, I would go crazy.  Seriously.  I’ve come to realize that while it’s great to have common interests with people, and it serves as a great jumping board for friendship, the best part is finding the differences and learning from each other.  I’ve tried so many different things due to friends’ influences – I wouldn’t have played rugby, gone snowboarding, gotten my ears pierced (and I want to get another piercing eventually), or discovered some amazing bands without the help of my friends.

And you’d be crazy to think that you and your friends all agree on the same things.  Especially when it comes to politics.  I know some of my friends are more conservative than I am.  I know some of them aren’t for gay marriage, or are anti-abortion.  I’m not going to let that stand in the way of being friends with someone.  Or throw away years of friendship just because we don’t agree.  I will politely disagree with you, but I would never tell you that you’re wrong or try to convince you to change your opinion.  That’s not the kind of person I want to be.  I recognize that many people wouldn’t agree with me, and that’s perfectly okay.  I just don’t see the point of letting someone like political beliefs get in the way of friendship.

Relationships, that’s a whole different bag.  You make a commitment to someone, and the thing with relationships is that you get into them, ideally, with an endgame, which is to get married.  The thing is, there are things you can ignore and some you can’t.  Different religious affiliations and beliefs is something you probably want to agree on.  Whether or not you want children, another.  Political affiliation and beliefs, probably another.  Whether or not tomatoes are a fruit or a vegetable? Not so much, if anything it’ll be a way for you to have argument sex.

It’s kind of too late for me to get back on point, so I’ll just end it here.  Get to know me before shoving your tongue in my mouth, don’t apologize for things just because you feel you should – really mean it, and stay open minded.  Simple, or as complicated, as that.


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