Important Lessons I Learned Via Partying in College

I arrived at school today, to the sight of one of my teachers and the nurse cleaning up vomit by the bicycle park.  I felt sympathy with them, nobody wants to be cleaning up vomit at 7:50am.  I was then reminded of my college years, I’ve had to clean up many a vomit accident (and fair amount of it was my own doing), and then that got me thinking – what else has partying in college prepared me for in life?

In no way am I encouraging the world to party as I did, or still do.  In fact, after all my years of “going out.” I’m looking forward to a winter vacation where I can just stay in, so to speak.  If that actually happens is yet to be determined, but I certainly hope so.  My bed sure is cozy…

Anyway, other people might try to convince you that partying in college is not the way to go.  I am of the opinion that if you party wisely, after you’ve finished all of your studying and homework – or know you have the time to finish your studying and homework, then by all means party it up!

But either way, partying, especially if you’re the host of the party, prepares you for moments in life when others might shy away:

  • Vomit – Not only can I clean that shit (mouth shit, digestive shit so to speak) up, but if I vomit? It ain’t no thang.  Just toss me a towel and some cleaning spray, and it’ll be like nothing happened at all.  A skill useful with babies, or old people.
  • Cleaning – and not just the shoving everything into a corner or a closet and closing the door, but actually cleaning.  Cleaning so that all the valuables are gone.  Will probably come in handy later in life if I am deemed responsible enough to have a baby.
  • Drunk-proofing – I was a drunk myself, not as bad as my friends that’s for certain, but I was still a drunk.  I did drunk things.  So I know how to drunk-proof, well.  It’s essentially the same as baby-proofing right?
  • That pho cures anything – My hangover remedy?  Pho.  My sick remedy?  Pho.  Feeling down?  Alright, guys, I know just the thing.  Pho.
  • How to sleep anywhere, through anything – Maybe it’s just my own talent, and not something learned, but I can sleep virtually anywhere.  I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I once slept in my friend’s bar underneath speakers blaring Foo Fighters.  I can sleep on hardwood, I can sleep outside…
  • How to be level headed in an emergency, or run-in with the cops, and think quickly – No matter how inebriated you get, it’s important to keep a level head.  Nobody wants the person who flips the fuck out around in an emergency, or run-in with the cops.
    Being able to think quickly is the difference between life and death, an MIP or getting off scot-free with either the cops or the RA – and believe me, you’ll have run-ins.  If you’re the person holding the party, be the only person allowed to answer the door/talk with people of power.  And remember, the cops can only enter the house if you invite them/let them in.
  • If you’re going to be drinking underage, take a criminal law class in college or know your rights – Use your education to your advantage!  I’ll make your criminal law class that much more interesting once you figure out where you can apply it.  Believe me, I never got busted in college because I knew my rights, and like above kept a level head.
  • And finally…drunk people are hilarious – Drunk people are an acquired taste.  This is certainly true, but some of the craziest nights of my life have been with drunk people.  And stories, boy do I have a bunch of stories.  Drunk people do ridiculous things, and I love it.  I guess the take away is this, have fun.  And appreciate people having fun, even if they can be obnoxiously loud and resemble an adult baby.
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